Tuesday, August 31, 2010

THEME MUSIC: throwback tunes....

i think a lot of times men forget to appreciate the women in their lives. mother, sister, friend, wife, girlfriend, etc. when was the last time you (mister man reading this) told the "her" in your life that you were proud of her? when was the last time you encouraged her because you knew she was stressed & "going through it"?

women are EXPECTED to hold their man down & be so damn ride-or-die, but how often do we get the same treatment in return. fellas, i know your girl sends you sweet text messages....have you returned the favor? yes, i know that men and women act differently in relationships but some things should be universal. loyalty, respect, care...those are all significant components in relationships that tend to never be equally present from both partners.

New Edition asks "can you stand the rain?" and i will answer it for A LOT of the men out there....the answer is NOT AT ALL. men are supposed to be protectors and providers. when was the last time you earnestly protected her heart or provided her with comfort???

just something to think about. run out and buy an umbrella or matter of fact, just stay indoors. this rain....this love...is clearly not for the faint of heart.


Monday, August 30, 2010

DISASTERS IN DATING: oil spots & fingerprints

i just got off the phone with my Auntie Sue....she is absolutely amazing & i am beyond grateful for her. she was dropping all kinds of wonderful witticisms on me. yes, i said witticisms. lmbo. we discussed relationships, life, and family. this woman is so crazy....especially when it comes to her stance on being celibate. she refuses to let a man stain up her "garage" with his unchecked & unmaintenanced vehicle.

this got me to thinking.... how many of us women are allowing men to come in our garages (body & heart) and leave their mark, this mark that leaves our garage less than clean? *raising my hand*

i do declare, i would like to get back to my pristine state. clean & void of the scum. no oil. no fingerprints on my windows. no smudges. we will never be able to reach this point until we make a conscious effort to take more pride in ourselves. don't be afraid to walk in your worth.

you are worth more than a half ass relationship, a booty call, a liar, a cheater....you are worth more than all of that. we have to stop settling just for the sake of settling. growing older doesn't mean we get into a relationship to settle down....we should be waiting on that relationship that riles us up. livens us up. fills us up.

bust out your gloves and cleaning products....time to rid our lives of the unfavorable remnants of past lovers, users, "men". in order to move on with LIFE we must remove all oil spots and fingerprints.

good luck sistas!


you left your fingerprints all over me. all over my heart. so quickly we fell apart & as much as it hurts me...i'm windexing every smudge of you from my life. cleaning off this so-called "love" that was once all over me. left unappreciated, i'm taking my love back. fingerprints off. please don't touch.

NEW VIDS: can't be friends.....welcome back Mizz Sullivan

and i wish we never did it....
and i wish we never loved it...

i am so very happy that Jazmine Sullivan is coming back on the scene. for awhile i was afraid she would be a one hit wonder. i dig the video...i mean, who doesn't love the classicness that is HOUSE PARTY!! her style is also on the come up. YES! my prayers have been answered. i'm so digging the blue mascara. I remember when i was in junior high i would sneak and wear my mom's blue, purple, and green mascaras. *sigh* no wonder so many people thought i was weird growing up. whateva....i call it trendsetting! BOOM IN YO FACE!


PLAYLIST: When a Woman Loves...

hopefully she doesn't get fed up.
cuz we all know what happens then.


nah but welcome back R.Kelly. i love the old school soul in this song. def on repeat.


p.s. i don't mean to play devil's advocate, buuuut i feel like Trey Songz would have murdered this song. #justsayin

THEME MUSIC: the way i love you, just call me MiMi Homemaker

gave you everything.
perhaps that was too much.
and i'm not one to beg, so i'm gone.

sing to 'em Bey!

Now, now, now, honey
You better sit down and look around
Cause you must've bumped yo' head
And I love you enough to talk some sense back into you, baby
I'd hate to see you come home, me the kids
And the dog is gone
Check my credentials...
I give you everything you want everything you need
Even your friends say I'm a good woman
All I need to know is why?

Why don't you love me?
Tell me, baby, why don't you love me
When I make me so damn easy to love?
And why don't you need me?
Tell me, baby, why don't you need me
When I make me so damn easy to need?

I got beauty, I got class
I got style, and I got @ss
And you don't even care to care
Looka here
I even put money in the bank account
Don't have to ask no one to help me out
You don't even notice that

Why don't you love me?
Tell me, baby, why don't you love me
When I make me so damn easy to love?
Why don't you need me?
Tell me, baby, why don't you need me
When I make me so damn easy to need?

I got beauty, I got heart
Keep my head in them books, I'm sharp
But you don't care to know I'm smart
Now, now now now now now now
I got moves in your bedroom
Keep you happy with the nasty things I do
But you don't seem to be in tune

Why don't you love me?
Tell me, baby, why don't you love me
When I make me so damn easy to love?
Why don't you need me?
Tell me, baby, why don't you need me
When I make me so damn easy to need?

There's nothing not to love about me
No, no, there's nothing not to love about me
I'm lovely
There's nothing not to need about me
No, no, there's nothing not to need about me
Maybe you're just not the one
Or maybe you're just plain....... DUMB

i have always liked this video...it's def the best i've seen from her.

After all of the times that we tried,
I found out we were living a lie
And after all of this love that we made,
I Know Now you don't love me the same

The way that I love
(The way that I love you)

The way that I love
(The way that I love you)

The way that I love
(The way that I love you)

I woke up kinda early today, and something told me from that moment it wouldn't be the same
Felt like you were hidin' something, but I didn't push it,
I didn't complain or say nothing
I tried to act like I didn't see it,
'cause deep down I know I didn't wanna believe it

There it was, it was you and her,
you left your sidekick on the night stand and I read

Everything you did and everything you said,
now I'm standin' here lookin' like damn
I thought it was you and I,
now all I gotta say is why

The way that I love
(The way that I love you)

I noticed now that when I'm around, you be tryin' to lock the door, whispering on the phone
Now wait a minute,
since we been in this house you ain't never did this before, tell me what's this about..
(What's this about)
I tried to sit and say to myself,
this here is too good, he don't want nothin' else

There it was, it was you and her,
you left the credit card receipt inside the beamer with

Everything you bought
And everything you spent, now I'm standing here
once again I thought it was you and I,
now all I have to say is why

The way that I love
(The way that I love you)

Oh Oh
You lied
You lied
Oh why
Why'd you have to lie to me
Why'd you have to lie to me-e
Why'd you have to lie to me
Why, why, why, why
You lied, you lied, you lied
We made, we made, we made


Friday, August 27, 2010

QUOTABLES: the all knowing Drizzy Drake Rogers...

"And you just tell me what you down for,
Anything you down for,
I know things have changed ,
Since I used to be around more,
I hope that ya miss me a little when im gone,
Hope that
You miss me a little when I'm gone..."

-Drake "Miss Me"

that's all i want....call it ego or whateva. i just want him to miss me how i miss him.


hurt like i hurt. want to change and grow just as much as i want to change and grow.


RANDOM ISH: dream catcher...

last week i had a dream that my teeth were falling out. i don't remember all of the details, only that i could literally feel the iron like taste of blood in my mouth. i was trying to cover my mouth as my teeth crumbled and fell out. i was horrified...but no one in my dream seemed to be bothered by my misfortune.

i finally got around to googling the meaning of this kind of dream and found that it was SO on point. when you dream that your teeth are falling out it has a lot to do with you feeling that what you have to say isn't being respected or understood.

in my relationship i was feeling like my opinion and point of view was falling on deaf ears....like nothing i said/felt had any value to him. it was BEYOND frustrating to be the type of person i am (all about communicating) and not being able to properly communicate with my significant other. this dream was such an accurate depiction of my conscious and subconscious feelings.

guess i'll be googling my dreams a lot more from now on.

for a full break down of my dream, click here: DREAM MEANING


Thursday, August 26, 2010

DISASTERS IN DATING: checkmate....

this little game we play. why do we play this sick game of torture? silently we put ourselves through the agony of the unknown all on account of not wanting to be the one who folds first. firm poker face...i call your bluff. i think.

the longer you hold out on communication the more in control you are. right? well, i feel like the longer i force myself not to tell him i love him...the weaker i become. my imagination goes crazy.

"he clearly doesn't care, he hasn't shown any emotion"

"perhaps this was all a joke. all a lie, i MUST have imagined the love"

blah blah blah...etc etc. when will my mind be quiet.

i'm the type that feels if something needs to be said...just say it. in the middle of a storm don't you feel hope when that sliver of sunlight slips through the dark clouds? that piece of light is like a beacon...letting you know "this too shall pass".

wouldn't an "i love you" in the midst of chaos act as a glint of sunlight? an assurance that although things are SHITTY right now....i still care. i still want the best for you. i still....well, i still love you.

i guess my way of thinking is off. i guess everyone has to play the game. no one wants to be seen as weak. so we put our guard up, hold our ground, & lay in wait...suffering. all in the name of "winning".

my poker face sucks.
the defense line has been breached & the Queen is vulnerable for attack.




POETICALLY INCLINED: drug of choice....

i get high off your memory.
poppin pills engraved with I LOVE YOU.
snortin powder that smells like your scent.
injecting endorphins in my veins....natural pain killer.
i get high off your memory.

i fcukin love u.


THEME MUSIC: i don't ask for much....

What I need from you is understanding,
How can we communicate,
If you don't hear what I say.
What I need from you is understanding,
So simple as 1-2-3,
Understanding is what we need.

You don't really know me,
You just wanna do what you wanna do.
That's not the way it should be,
No, you should listen to me boy.
I try so very hard to make you understand,
But the choices you make, baby they're all demands.

I try so very hard to keep our love alive,
But you don't wanna meet me half way,
Then the understanding dies.
There's no way that we can work it out,
If we don't pull together.
I don't mean to be demanding,
But I want some understanding,
I want to be with you.

I listen to you baby,
And I know the things you're going through.
I try to understand,
That's why I'm still here with you, baby.
See everyday we're living,
Is one thing that will always be unsure.
That's why I need you baby, pleading baby,
Please let our love endure.


RANDOM ish: basic math...

today i made a mistake in calculations.
3 x 5= 13...i told my nephew.
my mind isn't functioning quite right, clearly.
atleast i know one equation
you - me = reality.

if only i could input that into a calculator
& have it read "ERROR".


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

PHOTO OP: thank u for being a friend

it is when your heart aches....mind is boggled...emotions are on the fritz....and stress is like second skin.....

that's when your girls are a phone call away,

knowing EXACTLY how badly you're hurting.
they seem to know exactly what the invisible tears mean.
every sigh, every groan...they decode it perfectly.
and even though you're not totally ready to talk because words fail you,
they are waiting in the wings...ready when you are.

onikhol, cons, ruthi, jimmy, nise, bleether, meeks, ry ry, BB, niquey mo, etc etc.....

i need you now.


Monday, August 23, 2010

DISASTERS IN DATING: all you need is one good one...

the past couple of weeks i have been plagued with anxiety.
the kind that labors your breathing & makes it hard to have an appetite.
i've been exercising the muscles in my eyes, trying my hardest not to let a tear fall.

im too G for that...right?
cuz i promised myself i would never cry again. i hate it.
i internally bash myself because i feel like crying is weak.

but sometimes the hurt builds up a little too much.
my external armor has started to weaken a bit.
today is that day. the nail was def put in the coffin & i see that this is clearly dead.


now i realize that perhaps all i need is one good cry.....

let it all out.

frustration. misunderstanding. hurt. confusion. disappointment. anger. resentment.

time to purge.

don't bother me, im crying.


FRESH FROCKS: eShop til u eDrop.

i love interning in the fashion industry...it's like a brand new world everyday, lots of exploration.

the world of fashion is one that you will never be able to conquer...there is just SO much to it. i looooove it.

anywho, one of the newbie interns hipped me to this haute little site where you can shop new AND vintage! AMAZING MUCH???

oh yeah baaaabay!!

the prices range from moderate to almost expensive...but for the quality of clothes, u know it's worth it.

check it out.
fall in love.
eShop til u eDrop.


enjoy blogger babies!


few items i love:

*new* the Square Off sunglasses

*vintage* the Devon Disco Jacket

FRESH FROCKS: accessorize ya life...

this weekend i fell in love with this watch while having a love affair in MetrOpark.


there is nothing more feminine than a chunky men's watch on a thin wrist...topped off with perfectly painted poppin nails!


PLAYLIST: lovesCold...

i feel like Will is a genius.
he is not only one of my bestest friends EVER,
he is majorly talented.

i must warn you....this is a tease. only 1 minute and 44 seconds of greatness.

"im feelin like ur purposely hurtin me, unconcerned with how i feeeeeel...."

enjoy blogger babies!


#imjustsayin : we want prenup!!

A prenuptial agreement, antenuptial agreement, or premarital agreement, commonly abbreviated to prenup or prenupt, is a contract entered into prior to marriage, civil union or any other agreement prior to the main agreement by the people intending to marry or contract with each other. ..

so i was thinking...i know i don't have much (yet) but can i still get a prenup? not for marriage...but for life in general.

friendships & relationships both consist of verbal/non verbal agreements that include loyalty, trust, respect, honor, etc...right?

wouldn't it make sense that if a friend or a lover turned out to be a total douche bag that there be some contract that allows for totally legal & acceptable repercussions?

say your friend decides to tell your business or take you on Maury to reveal she's having a baby by your boyfriend, the prenup should have some clause that says you are herein entitled to beat the sh*t out of her.

or perhaps your boyfriend has dropped the ball on his boyfriend duties & your relationship is now falling apart. wouldn't it be nice if the aforementioned party had to like umm i don't know....kiss your entire ass?

don't mind me... #imjustsayin


QUOTABLES: and the winner is....

"i'd rather not be alone in the ring fighting. even if i get slaughtered, atleast i know my opponent was passionate about something...."

i often have conversations in my head and that is how i come up with my quirky sayings and poignant quotes. this morning i was in my head discussing how logical it would be to fight for something that the other person doesn't even want. am i alone in the ring beating myself up over something my opponent is sitting out on?

which brings me to my quote.....get in the ring with me. let's fight for the prize. let's fight for US. because even if i get dragged, the bruises will show that clearly the fight was worth it to us.

let's get ready to ruuuuuuumble!!!


DISASTERS IN DATING: bloody casualties....

if you're a bird, i'm a bird.

bang bang u shot me down.....

right out of our cloudy skies.


don't play the victim.
the gun ur holding is the one smoking.

guns don't kill people.
people kill people.
love doesn't hurt people.
people hurt people.

DISASTERS IN DATING: be a streetcleaner

so the other nite a few friends & i had a spa nite. (spa nite: girlfriends + swimsuits + spa/jacuzzi + LOTS of girl talk). we've been doing them for years now....they always seem to be MUCH needed in one of our lives.

anywho, i came up with this silly idea to tell SCARY LOVE STORIES. cuz i mean what ghost story can compare to the frightful "situationships" we have been through thus far!? lol we went around the spa, each girl telling a "scary love story" about another girl there. to hear your love life somewhat fictitiously retold by a friend is quite comical.

when it got around to me, my story about "Jerri the Giant & Thumbalino" had quite a few characters that are now reverberating with the girls and i. Peter the PitStop, Oscar the Obstacle, Henry the Hurdle, Steve the Stop Sign, Ron the Roadblock etc. in all actuality, we have ALL dealt with these characters. guys who have come in and out of our life causing drama, leaving scratches on our hearts and bruises on our ego. we have ALL dealt with guys who have taken tiny parts of us that we will never get back, & if we do...that part of us is not quite the same. USED. not so brand new.

our trust isn't fully charged. our self confidence not AS gleaming. our hearts just a tad harder to get to......but we, my friends & i, have decided to LET ALL OF THAT GO. we are devoted to becoming SKARIKA THE STREETCLEANER & removing all the rubbish from our carefully paved streets.

we are awaiting CHARLIE the CHAMPION.

lol. funny story for my friends & i....but in all seriousness, making a conscious effort to accept ONLY what you truly deserve is a much needed change in all of our lives.

thank God for good friends.
love u ladies!


#imjustsayin: my AMAZING day

i don't believe in perfect, but i do live by AMAZING.
things can be AMAZING & be far from perfect.
i do declare that one day imma wake up & EVERYTHING is going to be amazing.
sleep will fade seamlessly away 5 minutes before my alarm sounds.
well rested & ready to take the day on, i find nothing but AMAZING clothes
in my well organized closet.
and those jeans that fit a little too snug last week...are fitting somewhat AMAZINGLY today.
that makes me smile....real big!
my nails & toes are perfectly painted, no chips.
gas tank on F & my wallet didn't feel it.
im not bloated or feeling fat, my curves are curving just right.
what an AMAZING day.
hair is doing EXACTLY what i want it to do (oh, that will be the day...the AMAZING day)
& this fresh bottle of mascara has my lashes at the length i've always desired.
no bird crap on my windshield.
no scuff on my favorite high heels.
i even got through a shower & shaving session with not one single nick from the razor.
sun is shining...but not so much as to cause a sweat. but rather...a nice glow.
the breeze is AMAZING, no need for a jacket.
my friends are happy...my family is blessed.
im loving this AMAZING day.
my heart is beating regularly, no sign of aches or breaks.
i dont even feel the slightest twinge of anxiety or the dull sensation of tears.

one day imma wake up & EVERYTHING is going to be AMAZING.
cuz i don't believe in perfect but i do live by AMAZING.
i cant help but think that this day wouldn't be so far fetched if he believed in amazing too.



Sunday, August 22, 2010

PHOTO OP: when you're not here....

i sleep in ur tshirt.
and im pretty sure you're gone for good,
so until this fades away completely...
i'll secretly hold on for awhile.
sssssh, don't tell my mind cuz it's supposed to be "made up" about u.

"own my heart, my mind, & the tshirt that i sleep in...."


POETICALLY INCLINED: but not really....

i had something really good to say, then i forgot it.
had the words thought out nicely, adjectives all in place.
i was inspired by his smile, his face, his expressions....
then i forgot 'em.
not on purpose....it kind of just happened.
i held on for as long as possible, hoping i'd keep a memory.
but he kept slipping away.
i meant to document this experience, so i could always remember.
kept telling myself to write down the fun times and every joke that made me laugh.
but i didn't.
i swear i really wanted to share with the world what great joy he brought,
but i suppose i wanted to keep some of us secret.
cuz i mean, seemed like the more that people "knew" the worst it became.
no one ever really wants to see someone else happy.
i was initially inclined to blog about the time he kissed my every tattoo...
yep all 7 of 'em.
& at that moment i was sure that i would get more ink just so his lips would never leave me.
i'd get an X across my heart & would hope he'd find that spot everyday of his life.
yea, i was going to blog about that.
but i didn't.
weekly bubble baths meant for two and champagne on ice.
i forgot about the sweet whispers and nights wrapped in his arms.
i definitely made an attempt to tell about how each morning we took turns making breakfast for each other.
so easily it slipped my mind.
cuz we forget to tell about the goodness, those moments discarded once love goes sour.

i was POETICALLY INCLINED to pen my greatest love story about him.
but not really....

cuz i have decided to keep it all inside.



Saturday, August 21, 2010

PLAYLIST: Adele does me so right....

You say it's all in my head
And the things I think just don't make sense
So where you been then? Don't go all coy
Don't turn it round on me like it's my fault
See I can see that look in your eyes
The one that shoots me each and every time
you know i know just how you feel 'cause honey I'm startin' to feel that way too when you

grace me with your cold shoulder
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her
You shower me with words made of knives
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her

These days when I see you
You make it look like I'm see-through
Do tell me why you waste our time
When your heart ain't in it, and you're not satisfied
You know I know just how you feel
I'm starting to find myself feeling that way too

When you grace me with your cold shoulder
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her
You shower me with words made of knives
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her

Time and time again, I play the role of fool
(Just for you)
Even in the daylight when you think that
(I don't see you)
Try to look for things I hear but our eyes never find
'Though I do know how you play

You grace me with your cold shoulder
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her
You shower me with words made of knives
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her

You grace me with your cold shoulder
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her
You shower me with words made of knives
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her


DEAR SUMMER: good riddance....

Dear Summer,

i used to love you.
but this year, you've been a real b*tch.
global warming had temps down & my personal flames waning.
i was living in a cold war.
"i never dreamed you'd leave in summer"
but that's what it is.
blew out my invisible candles
and watched us go up in smoke.

now, i've never been more ready to layer up,
watch leaves change colors,
& let the wind take all the icky feelings far far away.

Hello Fall.....how badly i await you.


FUNNY FUNNY: kids do the darndest things...

so yesterday my 9 year old nephew D was going super hard on some bbq lays chips a few hours before football practice. my brother tells him to "lay off the salt before practice" and my sis-in-law says "yea, go wash 'em down with some water". my nephew then disappears into the kitchen for a few moments before returning to us and asking "okay so can i drink it out of the bag???"

LMBO!!! he went and LITERALLY washed the chips with water by filling the bag of chips with faucet water. i IMMEDIATELY start crying laughing. let me tell you.....i desperately NEEDED that laugh. mind you, he asked this with the straightest face....he was beyond dead serious. LMBO.

so thank you Neph for bringing a long lost laugh to my tummy.


TWITTER ME THIS: hiatus much?

i am currently on a break from twitter. no particular reason....just thought i'd focus less on the social networking scene & focus more on me. for instance, i have been able to put my random thoughts and outbursts on this blog and in my journal instead of limiting myself to 140 characters. Also, i have avoided the tendency to check up on him to see what he's doing, how he's doing, etc. I mean, if he wanted me to know.....he would let ME know. I am avoiding him altogether....especially via social networks.

so my blogger babies, if you feel the urge to get in contact with me. CALL ME.

let's get back to that. hear my voice instead of ALWAYS reading my words. granted, my words do flow nicely. *smiley face*

my Ruthi is also on this hiatus as well. we agreed to go until september 1st....i don't think she is gonna last. annnnnd i kinda feel like i may go even longer, just so i can get back in the swing of updating my blog and actually writing down my feelings/thoughts in my personal journal.

words are my therapy and i have a feeling i am going to need them A LOT.


p.s. although, i do feel a nice twitter rant coming along. i may break my hiatus today....one day only!!!

Friday, August 20, 2010

PLAYLIST: what i'm listening to...

blame me for having faith in this relationship....

i don't know what this war's about, been through too much not to work it out.....i am your woman so show some respect & treat me as such...

i want this fiasco to end, so baby we can start all over again...

DISASTERS IN DATING: the proverbial break......up

i have heard fairytale stories as well as nightmares regarding couples who have gone on "breaks". from the couple who a break did wonders for, because they realized what they had in each other....to the couple who seen that a break UP was clearly what was needed and stayed apart. but how do you know what group you fall in? are your issues so profound that a break up is the only logical thing to do? or is the love so genuine that both parties are willing to put in the work to resolve issues and grow together.

what if you're a mix of both categories? what if you know the love has what it takes to work but the issues have consumed the relationship and it seems better to part ways than continue on a road leading to unhappiness.....*sigh* relationships suck. when you have been so far removed from the relationship mindset, it can be difficult to change your mind to the "us" and "we" instead of the "i" and "me".

how do we get back to our happy place when the road is hidden by the rubbish of miscommunication, resentment, anger, misunderstanding, etc??

how did we get so lost on this road that neither one of us can mapquest or googlemap the correct directions back to the good times? how do we find our way back? back to what though? this makes me wonder if we were ever happy or were we both wanting so badly for this long awaited union to work that we overlooked tell-tale warning signs? i just don't know anything anymore.

perhaps, parting ways IS what's best. how else am i supposed to feel when it seems as if i'm the only one willing to learn, change, and grow. so i suppose i'll seal this "Dear John" letter and let this burn.


damn you XIII.....this was supposed to work.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

QUOTABLES: proverbs never lie...

many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find? - Proverbs 20:6

seems that even in the Bible it is known that love has little to do with being faithful. these are merely men we deal with, why do we put so much confidence in them? obviously, in relationships, love isn't enough. it takes much more than love to make 'em work.

fcuk love. give me respect....it goes much further. when you respect someone, you treat them in high regard. you can't say the same for love. often times the people we proclaim to love are the ones we hurt the most. so spare me the Lword & start serving me R-E-S-P-E-C-T in large quantities.

BUT, if love was thought of how the Bible teaches it, perhaps i would feel differently.

it's crazy that as highly as the Bible speaks of love...we treat it so badly. 1 Corinthians 13: 1-13....this passage is all about love, yet how many of us have read this and applied it to our lives. we take love for granted...we disgrace its meaning.

the first three scriptures talk about how if you have so much wealth, power, talent, etc and don't have love then you gain nothing. scriptures 4-7 define what love is....patient, kind. it does not envy or boast. it is not self-seeking....love ALWAYS protects, ALWAYS trusts, ALWAYS hopes, ALWAYS perseveres. talk about a tear-jerker. the Bible is the greatest love story ever! it is the WORD that says LOVE NEVER FAILS. so why do we have so little faith in it? so little respect for such a powerful thing? we toss this word around like there isn't GODLY meaning in it.

the passage then goes on to say that without love we can do things, but when perfection (love) comes, the imperfect disappears. we put childish thinking, reasoning, and acting aside. through love we become men and women. Faith, hope, and love.....love is the greatest.

i am truly inspired by this passage. it makes me want to be loved better. makes me want to love better. knowing these scriptures, how can you settle for anything less than the kind of love described in it. the kind of love that inspires you to be a better man/woman. the kind of love that encourages you to do everything better.

i want that 1 Corinthians 13 love.



Wednesday, August 18, 2010

DISASTERS IN DATING: just another sad love song...

why do women feel the ridiculous need to listen to sappy love songs when they are feeling the aches of love?? is it not enough that your stomach is in knots and sleep brings dreams of him?

we are creatures of self torment i suppose.

oh well, press play and let that heart break....

what i am listening to:
Jaheim- Find My Way Back


p.s. don't let the tears, frowns, & heartache consume you for too long. get back to your HAPPY!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

POETICALLY INCLINED: Borrowing Rainboots....

"she wasnt prepared for the storm the first time,
so now she wears rainboots in the sunshine...."
- Lite for B

Needed some rainboots cuz it started storming in July.
Heatwave in August, but my rain hasn't let up. sunny gray sky.
wear & tear on my boots had me slipping regardless of the resisting.
held my tongue for far too long, all in the name of submitting.
Sacrificed my peace of mind, just to keep the peace.
Relationship on its last leg, so he flew east.
Deserted the crime scene, prime suspect on the run.
CSI: North Hollywood. investigation done.
evidence collected.
scattered traces of love all over.
outline of a heart drawn on the bathroom mirror.
flakes of care & strands of compassion in combs & brushes.
the scent of passion laced in the sheets.
ghosts of good times still linger.
of laughter


and so here i am, summertime sniffles.
B brings me rainboots, no questions asked.
reinforce the rubber. cuz i'm not slipping anymore.

DISASTERS IN DATING: perception is the new reality

Just as in Hollywood how image is everything, in relationships it is perception that seems to hold so much weight. how do outside people view your relationship? Often times it is the world who sees things that we may not see or what may in fact not even be true. But just as a Christian desires for their Christ-like light to reflect to the world, wouldn't it be nice that your relationship's happy glow is seen as a beacon? Or are the flashing lights of your relationship really flares, signaling an emergency?

I feel that perception is so very important in relationships because you want your solid foundation to show so much that even the boldest male or female will think twice about trying to destroy it. The perception of solid ground should cause every side heaux to retreat. Perception should not be a front though....it should be reality.

If more men and women understood the importance of perception, certain actions would cease. Frequent communication with exes, text messages from the opposite sex, etc would all be null and void. I can only speak from a woman's point of view, so when I say that some GIRLS don't give a damn....know that there is nothing but truth in that statement. A simple text message to a guy is a crack in the foundation for a girl. Some girls will continue to disrespect a relationship because the guy in it allows them to do so.

Fellas, when was the last time you nipped inappropriate conversation in the bud because it could be perceived the wrong way by your girlfriend?? I am pretty sure 100% of guys would have a fit if their girlfriend had conversations with guys in the same manner that they had with girls outside of their relationship.

Love shouldn't have double standards. point blank period.
Do unto her as you would have done unto you.

If random girls perceive your relationship to be unstable, they will find the crack and dig deep. when that crack becomes a trench, what happens then? resentment. arguing. misunderstanding. diminishing trust. lack of communication.

Relationships require a responsibility that too many people lack. Maturity is also served in low doses.

Before you take another step in your relationship, think hard about what you have contributed to it. What have you been taking for granted? It is never too late to learn from your mistakes and correct them accordingly.

Don't let faulty perception be the death of amor.


Sunday, August 15, 2010

POETICALLY INCLINED: and i know this much....

sleepless in California
good rest evades me.
afraid that if my eyes close for too long
haunting images will be permanently etched under my eye lids.
nightmare-ish lullaby songs.
"yo side of the bed" on repeat & skippin.
im long gone & lost.
tryin to find my way back when i kiss u.
compass permanently pointing South.
Mary J wailing about how "im going down...."
been functioning on mute, screaming for attention.
clearly unheard.
your every action is met with my disapproving reaction.
can't get right.
giving while you take.
how did we even get here?
miscommunicating vital information.
i love you sounds like i tolerate you.
wires must be crossed.
must be static on the line.
their words mean more than mine?
caller id has got to be broken.
those break...not hearts.
unclear air, untamed fires are smokin.
all of this doesn't make sense.
& i don't understand most of it.
i know this much.

Sheol Hell won't be the same without.
I'll burn with you and for you.
God save the "King".
cuz Lord knows he has the kind of stuff that looks like "my everything".
XIII...in my world, that means i love you. power that to the 13.