POETICALLY INCLINED: my apology...

words dnt always come easily,
so i write.
i dnt let my guard down so easily,
so i fight.

i battle w emotions;
this is my war on terrorism.
Love is my Al-Qaeda.
& im lookin 2 up my heroism.
so i save myself.
& more importantly,
i save u.

save u from
heartache & plenty of headaches.
cuz i am past due expiration dates;
im no good.
im Hurricane Katrina, wrecking things
of beauty.
dont enlist me in this army, i forfeit
my call of duty.
im no good.

instead of trying, i give up.
cuz im not prepared 4 the
look on ur face once u realize
i just dont measure up.

falsified perfection,
my glitter is fool's gold.
& u are the fool adamantly
tryin 2 possess me.
ur forcing goodness on me,
while my "self-sabotage"
systems convince my brain
that im not worthy.

it's in my nature 2 b nonchalant
& carefree.
u represent structure, the
threat of TAMING me...
im not ready.

overwhelmed by ur passion, i
dont quite understand ur intense
feelings....
so i push away
i push away & neglect my long
overdue healing....
im sorry.


xoxo,
MiaMcK