Saturday, September 29, 2012

DISASTERS IN DATING: fix my life...

The other day I was finally able to catch Iyanla Vanzant's show "Fix My Life" featuring reality star Evelyn Lozada. baaaaaaaaby, let me tell you....i got my LIFE! one of the hardest things is truly loving yourself, knowing your worth and LIVING in it. i am currently on that journey. loving someone and letting them go when every fiber of your heart is still attached to them....is brutal. i am in a place that is so out of the norm. i find myself being angry, A LOT. mean, bitchy....upset because the person i love doesn't love me how i deserve. i was driving home the other night, crying my head off on the freeway. talking to God, asking Him to forgive me for allowing myself to be treated in a way so unworthy of what i deserve. told Him that i am embarrassed for the bits and pieces of happy i have been accepting. how dare i, as God's child, allow someone to not love me properly?? i am angry....i am frustrated...i am tired. i give of myself too much, fight too hard for men who haven't done the same. i'm angry at myself. love shouldn't hurt. i want a man who encourages me....is excited about my work and dreams. cares about my day and well being. make time for me, make time for love. annnd i want him to want me when i want him. not after i have moved on (shoutout to the exes). i am fixing my life. mind, body, spirit, heart. and to you....i'll love you always. you da best baby...every single day. xoxo, Mia McK

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