Saturday, November 17, 2012

PLAYLIST: if I had one wish.....

Brandy definitely sang my life on "wish your love away" off her new album Two Eleven. It is slightly tragic when something and someone that was once the source of good feelings, becomes the cause of hurt. the kind of hurt where you start believing in magic. believing that if you wish hard enough, that love and all things tied to it will go away....that is soooome kind of space to be in. When you question everything that the person ever said, like was that real??? Who can act that wonderfully? Act like they loved, cared, wanted you? that is just...strange to me. But I am beyond grateful for music....it truly heals. I have reached the point of no return and I am so happy to be here. I love how God has this crazy, amazing way of revealing things at the perfect time. Like just when I wanted to text and tell him how much I miss him, how much I love him....pictures surface, reminding me exactly why I made the decision to really really walk away. good looking out universe, you really spared me some hurt feelings. the way I see it, I no longer have to wish this love away....seems to be long gone. crazy how something that could have been so right was such a sham. lol. i don't think I have ever been deceived soooooo much. THAT blows my mind. the words...the lies. someone I thought I knew, thought I could trust, thought was my FRIEND....really created a web of lust, deceit, confusion, lies, disrespect, etc etc. no wonder they say the line between love and hate is so thin, I'm on the brink. but I know I can't allow myself to go there. "Keep your heart sweet". this can't be worth that much energy, I refuse to give this anymore of me. no anger, no bitterness, no hate....no worries. matter of fact, i forgive you. wishes may not work, but prayer does. I'm not even going to allow Mia to be consumed in any negative emotions or thoughts. it's all good, have a blessed life. xo, McK

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