"that l-o and that v-e is all that i believe in" -MiaMcK
I AM OKAY!!!!
i am absolutely and completely okay being done with my previous relationship. we have sucked every drop of "try again" out of US and we are done. craziest part of it all? it doesn't hurt. i feel nothing but relief. there were moments when i thought i lost me.....i wasn't lost though. i was silenced.
too many times he made me feel like things were my fault, but they weren't. an insecure man is someone i NEVER thought i'd end up with. but i did....lesson learned.
"when someone shows you who they are, believe them"
no really, BELIEVE THEM.
apologies, forgiveness, love, and a couple of good times will not change who they are at their core. so, BELIEVE THEM. i tried so so so so very hard to stick it out and fight for love. i can't fight for something or someone who was already defeated.
looking back, i went back for a reason. i had to see if i could do anything differently to make it work. i loved more, i communicated more, i listened more....and nothing. me being me was too much for that relationship.
i can't dim my light or my love. i can't neglect my essence all for the sake of an insecure man's ego.
such is life.
we live, learn, and love again.
chapter 13 is closed. *weight lifted*
i don't regret anything. i appreciate it all. learned A LOT. loved A LOT. i fulfilled my purpose in that relationship and came to the conclusion that the anointing on our lives are like oil and water, they don't mix.
6 months ago i would have never imagined writing these words, believing these words, or LIVING these words.
but here i am. a whole, healed, beautiful, and fully functioning person. how amazing is life? how amazing is God!!??!
"my heart is mended. i'm whole again. no chains are holding me. got my liberty, i am healed!"