Saturday, July 2, 2011
DISASTERS IN DATING: where's the reset button?
what do you do when the good times are fading like your favorite jeans after a few too many spins in the wash?
they're fading into comfort or the dreaded "worn" area. how do you get back to GOOD?
where is the reset button for relationships?
i am no relatiopnship expert, but i think i am learning how to get through these things. lol. i have found that when the novelty of your relationship begins to fade, you have to face it head on. holding your tongue will only lead to an ugly break up.
take a moment. gather your thoughts. validate your emotions (because some things that we feel, we have no need for). now breathe. how do you feel? you want this relationship to work? make a plan then. a relationship isn't so different from most other things in life, including life itself. there are goals that you want to reach, you have written down your plans and visions right? why not do the same for your relationship? where do you see your Rship in 6 months? a year? 5 years? what are some issues that need to be addressed in order for you all to move forward with clear minds and hearts? SPEAK UP! if you can not communicate EFFECTIVELY with your significant other, be prepared for your relationship to go belly up!
relationships aren't meant to be perfect. shit...i mean LIFE happens. there will be situation after situation after situation. but it is how you all deal with these situations that determine how sane you will be. no, really. stressing over situations can very well make you crazy.
talk it out. no matter how heated the discussion may be. stand your ground, get your point across, and settle the matter as amicably as possible. do your best to understand where your sig other is coming from....put yourself in their shoes and go from there. know that both of you are entitled to FEEL however you feel...even if it seems ridiculous. remember that as you begin your communication, don't expect to always be right. women and men are SOOOOO different...our views, emotions, thought processes. there will ALWAYS be a middle ground, sometimes it just takes a little hard work to find it.
if you BOTH want this relationship to last...work for it, nurture it. be mindful that what YOU want may not be what HE/SHE wants. be mature enough to let go when necessary.
before you throw in the towel, take a moment and find your relationship reset button. it may turn out to be SO worth it.
#nowPlaying "Start Over"- Beyonce