Monday, April 4, 2011
DISASTERS IN DATING: remembering your essence... FOR NIKKI
most times when we think of this we relate it back to school or work, but not always relationships.
well, what about our self-evaluation process regarding relationships?
"remember your essence"
whether you're in a relationship, pursuing one, or exiting a relationship, those words can certainly afford to be thought on more often.
IN A RELATIONSHIP: your "I" and "me" has been long ago replaced by "us" and "we". your day to day plans tend to revolve around what your other half is doing. cuz I mean, that's what REALationships are about right? making an effort to align schedules so that the love doesn't suffer?
as a woman who was single and free far more than I was locked down and in a relationship, including my man in my plans and decisions was NOT priority. thus causing his ego and supposed importance to me and the relationship to suffer....
PURSUING A RELATIONSHIP: put your best face forward. the beginning stages of most relationships are like big words in an essay... all fluff. nothing solid or real, just a whole lot of well put together words and imbalanced compromises. women and men tend to get caught up in the warm, fuzzy feelings of the newness which often times causes them to lose their heads...
EXITING A RELATIONSHIP: the hurt, anger, and stress is so thick it's suffocating. the anxiety of heartache can literally make you crazy. things are done and said that can reflect part of our character that we may not have known existed....
in all you do, remember your essence.
what is it that makes you, you? know that you are a whole, beautiful, FUNCTIONING person on your own. even when you feel broken beyond repair, you are whole. know this and truly understand this. YOU define you, not a relationship status. i know so many young ladies who get wrapped up in their man and they forget themselves. they forget their value. remember your essence.
i know i have a few loyal readers out there who may have felt some type of way about the rekindling of my relationship and everyone is entitled to their opinions. i know that my essence has been unequivocally tied to his essence. he's my "end". the one. the difference between myself and a lot of women is that i know my worth, i understand my worth, and i walk in my worth. i have learned how to make my value and love life coexist without either lacking in importance. not only do i remember my essence often, i AM my essence.
i am Mia. i know who i am. i know my worth. i am in love and am a fully functioning complete person with or without a relationship.
remember your essence.