Thursday, June 2, 2011

PLAYLIST: simple mathematics....

in my humble opinion, this new ballad is right on track to become my favorite song. *gasp* yes yes it's true. this coveted spot has long been occupied by Dangerously In Love, so the song that was able to knock that classic out of it's spot couldn't have been by anyone but Bey.

i first heard the song via a video uploaded by Jay Z of Bey rehearsing the song backstage at American Idol. the pure emotion with which she sang was infectious. she brought tears to my eyes almost immediately. if i wasn't already in love, hearing this song would have inspired me to seek, learn, and understand this deep "love" thing she sang about so beautifully.

a few people on twitter adamantly disagreed with my claim to put "1+1" on the level of DIL (dangerously in love). but for me, 1+1 is the grown up version of DIL. 1+1 happens when you've been heartbroken a time or two. 1+1 is the result of age, a bit of wisdom, a couple of tears, and a whole lot of sleepless nights. 1+1 came about after the relationship failed, succeeded, got off track, then was resurrected because of something that goes beyond all reason and understanding. 1+1 exudes LIFE and LOVE. DIL was young love, full of fantasy and naivete. DIL was that wet behind the ears love, the love that you experienced before you actually knew YOU. one is not better than the other. just different. perfect for the different stages of life. if you have yet to experience that gut wrenching love, perhaps you won't fully understand or appreciate 1+1. and that's fine. mark my words though, once it happens to you, you will be searching the internet for this song so you can sway along to the flow. you will turn the song on and truly feel every word of it. and when she sings "and i dont know much about fighting but i, i know i would fight for you. just when i ball up my fist i realize, im laying right next to you"... when you hear that you're going to think about all of the times when you were prepared to go to war for your love.

every guttural note, every ache, and every inflection will bring a flicker of a memory of this love.

i can only pray that you all experience this.
it's beautiful.

enjoy it. every single moment. bad, good, all of it. it's worth it. i promise.


needless to say, i am EXTREMELY excited for this album! "4" comes out June 28. i love that the album's name holds so much significance to Bey. she and jay z's birthdays both fall on a 4th. they got married on a 4th and this is her 4th album. i can only imagine how personal and amaaazing this album is going to be. i am betting this will be her best.

DISASTERS IN DATING: and then i grew up...

*written and posted 5/12/2011 in my "notes" on facebook*

sitting here listening to "Love Contract" off of Musiq Soulchild's new album and it got me to thinking about love and other drugs.

it used to be a foreign (and perhaps, unwanted) idea to commit to one person, love one person...and do the whole proverbial "settling down" thing. I've never been the one fixated on being married and with child by a certain age...I just figured it would happen eventually. BUT, I knew I would never be the type to date and date and date trying to weed out Mr. Perfect. I prided myself on my exclusivity. Not just anyone would be able to access my heart and time. this brings me to the Love Contract....

it is unmistakably true that when you know, you just know. the process of love and falling in it absolutely blows my mind. you wake up one day and realize that the mere thought of living without this person pains you to your core. you become a lesser thought, while their well- being far outweighs thoughts of self. you become self-less, realizing the responsibility of someone's heart,, has been willingly placed in your hands.

Now, this epiphany does any means...prevent mistakes or ensure a happy ending. but boy, does that possibility of your own little slice of "Happily Ever After" entice you to keep traveling down this daunting road of love.

the hope of happiness.

so crazy how we grow up and grow out of our old ways. and damn if our old ways don't fight to hold on to us. temptation, arguments, drama, lies, betrayal, miscommunication... those things happen. But then, then we grow up. We grow up and realize that by saying those three toxic, potent, amazing words we indeed sign a love contract. a contract that isn't so easily broken.

Needless to say, I've signed my name in bright red blood. and before the blood dried on the Y in McKinley, I found myself needing, wanting, and desiring only one. willing to fight for what we are building....ready to go to war to keep in tact what we are building.

I found myself in love with every flaw...I've fallen in his cracks. I soak up his shortcomings & swallow every faulty word with grace. and the nights, the nights drag on while my eyelids are suffocated by salty drops of unconditional love. my name is Mia and I'm addicted to a human.

I grew up, fell in love....and I am constantly being taught how to be a better person.

Love does wonders.