*written and posted 5/12/2011 in my "notes" on facebook*
sitting here listening to "Love Contract" off of Musiq Soulchild's new album and it got me to thinking about love and other drugs.
it used to be a foreign (and perhaps, unwanted) idea to commit to one person, love one person...and do the whole proverbial "settling down" thing. I've never been the one fixated on being married and with child by a certain age...I just figured it would happen eventually. BUT, I knew I would never be the type to date and date and date trying to weed out Mr. Perfect. I prided myself on my exclusivity. Not just anyone would be able to access my heart and time. this brings me to the Love Contract....
it is unmistakably true that when you know, you just know. the process of love and falling in it absolutely blows my mind. you wake up one day and realize that the mere thought of living without this person pains you to your core. you become a lesser thought, while their well- being far outweighs thoughts of self. you become self-less, realizing the responsibility of someone's heart, sanity...life, has been willingly placed in your hands.
Now, this epiphany does not...by any means...prevent mistakes or ensure a happy ending. but boy, does that possibility of your own little slice of "Happily Ever After" entice you to keep traveling down this daunting road of love.
the hope of happiness.
so crazy how we grow up and grow out of our old ways. and damn if our old ways don't fight to hold on to us. temptation, arguments, drama, lies, betrayal, miscommunication... those things happen. But then, then we grow up. We grow up and realize that by saying those three toxic, potent, amazing words we indeed sign a love contract. a contract that isn't so easily broken.
Needless to say, I've signed my name in bright red blood. and before the blood dried on the Y in McKinley, I found myself needing, wanting, and desiring only one. willing to fight for what we are building....ready to go to war to keep in tact what we are building.
I found myself in love with every flaw...I've fallen in his cracks. I soak up his shortcomings & swallow every faulty word with grace. and the nights, the nights drag on while my eyelids are suffocated by salty drops of unconditional love. my name is Mia and I'm addicted to a human.
I grew up, fell in love....and I am constantly being taught how to be a better person.
Love does wonders.