POETICALLY INCLINED: fair weather....

never realized I was so cold, until summer came...

all of a sudden I began to feel again.


and I didn't realize it hurt so badly,


until the tears wouldn't stop falling.


let's be honest, I've been addicted to the pain you serve.


sick it seems, that the pain even felt good.


anything to feel connected,


to know that something still existed here.


like playing in the fallen leaves of autumn,


pleased to know beauty once flourished.


even if all that was left were barren branches.


unsure how  it happened, but I'm grateful to be free.


no dramatic exit. 


simply decided to no longer exist to you.


I've given me, wholly. 


allowed you to invade my most amazing spaces. 


mind. body. heart. spirit. 


it was you ...to the core of me.


but I grew weary, pretending to be blind to vibrant colors.


hues that looked a lot like lies and deception,


ignored rainbows of wasted time and disrespect.


all because I was obsessed with the rain.


passionate storms of you,


left parts of me absolutely damaged.


but I'm free.

and fairer weather is on the gloomy horizon.







xo,
McK

DISASTERS IN DATING: I'm sorry.....

It's true, the power of an apology is real. I need one from you. Sorry for the lies, sorry for wasting my time. Perhaps, if you're sorry for hurting me...you can throw an apology in for that. What's crazy is not being able to tell you exactly how fucked up you are. The sheer disrespect for me, our friendship, our ....shared moments. That hurts most. It took months and months and months to get to this point of letting you go, you letting me go, letting go...completely. While it is such a huge relief to be out of the clutches of disappointment, it is insanely painful to lose a friend. you forgot my dopeness. Forgot to tell me I'm beautiful. And I'm pretty sure it slipped your mind to remind me that I'm amazing, that I'm special to you.... Because you used to know those things about me. Used to tell me those things. You should be sorry you forgot, but I don't think you are. How unfortunate. I will be fine. So will you. But I am tapping out. Decided to spend some time with me. Grind season starts now. I forgive you.....I don't even need your apology. Thank God we are done. I regret you. xo, Mia McK

LIFE AND SUCH: it aint fair.....

the way that i love, it just aint fair. give and give and give. and what? i can't even complain because i would not be Mia without loving how i do. i do without expectation of that same thing being done in return. and i don't ask for much, maybe i should. at 26 years old....i find myself over it. what ever "it" may be. i tried. and i'm okay being done. because i truly tried. the games that are currently being played can continue on.....without me. God first. then Mia. if your list of priorities don't mirror that, i have nothing for you. i'm done making excuses for how i've been treated lately. it's not okay, bottom line. there will be no dramatic display of feelings upon departure. there will simply be no more trying. the lack of CARE in this current situation is something i have NEVER experienced. every single guy that has told me he LOVES me...has shown an awesome amount of CARE for me as well. i've NEVER had a guy "love" me and not truly have my best interest at heart. this is new and uncomfortable and it isn't fair. momentarily blinded to what has been right in my face....this aint fair. this aint right. and i told him before that how i feel will never change, that wasn't a lie. my FEELINGS toward him won't change....but my availability to him, patience with him?? those things have changed. Julian, i love you. you are not ready to provide what i require. let me go. xoxo, MiaMcK

PLAYLIST: men hurt too...

i've never really been inclined to listen to Gnarls Barkley. yea yea, shame on me...i know! but the other day while channel surfing i stumbled upon this vid. love at first sight. seriously, the poor heart really got to me and i remembered that men hurt too. i know sometimes women tend to forget that men actually have emotions. granted, it's hard 2 remember such a fact when these men are so often breaking our hearts, bruising our egos, & leaving us deflated. i mean yea, we forget to consider that this man may be this way because once upon a time he was heart broken with a bruised ego & deflated spirit 2 match.

im sure we have all came across that guy, whether it was a platonic or romantic relationship, that just wasn't quite right after that one girl stole his heart and never gave it back...fully. sure, he may fall in love again but it won't ever compare to that one who got away. his fault or hers...doesn't matter much. his heart will never beat as rhythmically as it once did. time may pass & the his heart will take on a new & perhaps more interesting beat but that previous "buh bum" of his cardiac melody will forever be nostalgically missed. anywho, here's the amazing video, check check check it out...





xoxo,
miaMcK

BIRTHDAY: 24....

i turned 24 on friday (aug 7th)...it was ummmmmm, eye opening 2 say the least. i got to that R.Kelly moment. "when a woman's fed up..." i held my breath for a moment, replayed the last 3yrs of my life in my head, exhaled, & decided "he's just not that into me"

and that, my little blogger babies, is how i was officially delivered from my miserable state of unrequited love.

there is an amazing sense of FREEDOM in simply KNOWING...and even more security in ACCEPTING.


xoxo,
MiaMcK